


For Life

by muldertorture (steelneena)



Category: The X-Files
Genre: 11x03 Plus One, F/M, The X Files Season 11 Episode 3 "Plus One", post episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 08:59:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13407852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steelneena/pseuds/muldertorture
Summary: Scully's memories of the visions she received are wreaking havoc on her personal life. Mulder likes to engage in pillow talk after sex, except he wants to talk about serious things and Scully just wants to forget.





	For Life

**Author's Note:**

> The conversation they had in bed pre-sexy times made NO SENSE whatsoever, especially after the previous episode "This", so I decided to figure out how to make sense of it. 
> 
> One shot post ep.

Mulder’s arms encircled her tightly once again, ending where they began. She was breathing harder than he was, if that was even possible, and they were practically nose to nose.

“Dana,” he said, the second time in as many days, and it’s an anomaly. “Why would you think I could ever want anyone but you? What...what brought that up?” His voice was husky and deep and his breath hot on her cheek.

Scully didn’t want to answer him, shifted in his arms belaying her sudden discomfort. “It’s silly.”

“I’m sure it’s not,” He replied, seriously. “Dana there hasn’t been anyone but you for more years than it’s worth counting.”

Scully bit her lip, reached out a hand to his cheek, rough with stubble, her caress almost tentative. “I didn’t tell you everything about the visions.”

“Jesus, I didn’t sleep with someone else, did I?”

“No, no, you didn’t. But...we weren’t together. We weren’t living together. I don’t know. It has me...I feel off. I watched things happen that didn’t happen but they felt real and I believed them and I can’t-”

“Dana. Honey.” He didn’t sound condescending at all, which was what she feared, however irrationally. The case had her spooked early on, the comments that Judy had made about her infertility had stung, despite what she’d retorted. “Dana. Talk to me.”

“I keep thinking about it. About William. Our child. And everything...everything that we’ve never talked about because we both hurt so much. What if you did want another child? I know I can’t have any, despite what you seem to think. If that were the case, don’t you think it would have happened by now? William...I...Miracles don’t just-”

“We had William the good old fashioned way. You know that and I know that. And that was our miracle. We have our child, even if he isn’t with us. And that’s enough for me. I never questioned your decision, even if it hurt. I wasn’t there. It wasn’t for me to decide. You did what you had to do. And maybe you could have another baby with someone other than me. You can’t know that until you try. And if that was something you wanted to try, in some way or another, I’d support you. I love you. I want you to be happy.”

The glimmering of his green eyes was what almost sent her over the edge. Brimming with emotion, he looked to her for a response. She’d been running hot and cold ever since the visions, memories of things that never were or would be getting in the way of things that she knew to be true. Mulder’s dedication to her. Her love for him.

Once more she allowed him to pull her in close, their bare legs tangling together beneath the covers.

“Cold feet,” he murmured, and Scully wasn’t sure if he was being literal, figurative, or both.

“I love you. I’m sorry. My head’s a mess. That woman, Judy, she said some things to me and between the visions and her comments, I just-”

“It’s okay.” His earnestness breaks her heart. He’d been so patient with her, bending to her whims, sleeping on the couch when they hadn’t _not_ shared a bed in years. “Whatever you need, you know I’m here.”

“I know,” she replied. Mulder nuzzled his nose against hers, and the edges of his mouth tripped up almost imperceptibly. But his eyes were still piercing, thoughtful, contemplative.

They lay together in silence for many minutes, the barest red glow from the alarm clock the only light illuminating the room; they’d closed the blinds before getting into bed for the final time that night. Mulder shifted, and Scully could tell he wanted to say more. It seemed like that was the way of things more and more lately. Where she would balk at intimate, often necessary conversation, and he’d pursue it. Internally shuddering, she wondered what Mulder’s inner psychologist thought about that.

“Dana,” he said, using her name again, which only served to highlight the fact that she hadn’t said his in return. They saved that always for only the most, most important conversations, though not always the nicest of them. “If you wanted another child, I would…” he trailed off, the darkness seemingly swallowing his words, though the implication remained. “I would do anything,” he settled on, though it was obvious he’d had other words in mind. “Anything.” The devotion she’d seen earlier, when she opened the door to find him waiting there, was back in full force. His hand drifted to her shoulder, rubbing the smooth skin there. “Anything. I love you. I want you. And I would want any child we could have together.”

The silence between them was deafening, the metaphysical gap between them widening with every moment despite their physical closeness.  He was waiting for her to speak and the longer she went without doing so…

“I can’t have another child.” She started, and when he began to pull away, dejected, she finished speaking. “But if I could, Fox, I wouldn’t want it to be with anyone but you.” It was her turn to bridge the gap, to reassure him, when he’d done nothing to deserve her coldness, her uncertainty after their years of devotion to each other. Scully pressed herself flush against him, kissing him firmly, her free hand settling on his upper arm, gripping there just enough to ground herself against the moment. He, ever her equal opposite, lost himself fully in the kiss, taking her in like a drowning man searching for air. When they pulled apart, he rested his forehead against hers, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. She watched him, still unwilling to lose herself in the tide. He was so open with her, wearing his heart on his sleeve each day, and she’d retreated into herself, pulling farther away from him.

 _He loves you. He wants you. You are not broken._ _And even if he didn’t, you still wouldn’t be broken. But he does. He does._

“I should tell you everything I saw,” Scully said, instead of voicing her other thoughts. The look in Mulder’s eyes when he opened them made her heart ache.

“Okay. You can tell me. I’ll listen. I'll always listen. But I need to know that you believe me. I’m not going to leave you. Ever.” The seriousness in his eyes dissipated and a goofy look, one filled with adoration crossed his face. In that moment, Scully remembered precisely every one of the hundred, the thousand, the five billion times that she’d fallen in love with him, over and over again. “Didn’t you know, Scully? Foxes mate for life.”

 


End file.
